11 ways how to

Avoid the Arguing:

Think about the arguing like of unwanted fire. Fire can quickly develop and cause permanent damage to anything that's valuable. So, if you do not react on time and apply proper cure, then the scar is inevitable. Therefore, when thinking about arguing, think about yourself as a fireguard. Someone who is to prevent a damage.

1. Prevention is the best cure of anything. Simply: if you prevent it, then it won't happened. Tune your senses and mind into detection of its coming. Once you notice it, then use simple strategy to avoid getting into it. Arguing is just like tornado: starts suddenly, is very intense/vigorous, and do not last too long. It is just like being able to detect the early signs of a tornado. Then go to your safe zone till it's over.

2. Take control of yourself. Know your triggers around arguing. Familiarize yourself with what comments and situations trigger your anger and argumentative behaviour. What are these about? Learn how you can avoid getting trapped by them in the future. Remember: the one who cannot control her/himself, s/he cannot control the situation.

3. Most of arguments are misunderstandings by the nature. You will find it if you clarify things - you will avoid arguments. Listen to other party carefully, ask for any blanks you're not sure about, and you might resolve the whole thing in a split of the moment. This is the first to be done. In other words: do not shoot first and then ask questions.

4. Raise your own standards. If you feel terrible thinking of somebody arguing, then do not let yourself becoming that "somebody". Think about it before or during the arguing and that will help you stay away from entering it. Do not let yourself being converted into your own negate.

5. Point yourself on what's right, and not who is right. If you want to resolve who is right/wrong, then you might be arguing forever. There's no end of it, because every party has their own points, arguments, reasons. It could turn into an endless wind storm. Beside, pointing on what's right is way more positive goal.
   
   

6. Do not include past into the issue at hand. That would be just like adding more fuel to the fire. If you don't want the fire going or expanding, then do not blow the oxygen into it by connecting the current issue with the past problems.

7. Listening is one of the biggest underused skill that will easily resolve most arguments. If you listen to any argument you will usually hear both people talking at the same time. By listening you will better understand the issue at hand plus you will show to other party that you respect their opinion.

8. Stop talking is a very effective way to stop a heated argument. This is not as easy, but give it a try. It worthies. You'll be able to see the benefit of it right away. The more you stay silent the more the other person will slow down. Once you see this, then you'll be able to keep it that way with more ease.

9. State some strong points of the other party. That would be like removing heat from the fire. The other party would immediately start to cool off, and that's already the path to confine the fire. This is another great way to stop an argument by doing something out of the ordinary in an argument.

10. Walk away from the argument. This means physically move away. Find some appropriate excuse, like need to go to restroom, to make some phone calls, to go shopping…or just say "I'll be back".

11. Raise your level of awareness above other party's level. So, say to yourself things like: 'ok, the other party is stubborn, oblivious to the facts, or simply they might want to trick me, but I am not going to let myself onto the same ground. Just because my level of awareness is higher'. This is not always easy to do, since many will understand this as a weakness and sort of surrendering their own point, but in fact it is quite opposite. You show to yourself and the to the other party how strong minded you are. And that means that both of you would realise that it's you who controls the situation. And then all you have to do is to shut the fire down. Works wonderful.

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    Now if you find these very useful, and however, you still cannot master it, do not worry. All you have to do is to practise it. This means read these over and over again, and try to practise it to the point when you think you are there.
    
    The useful thing is that you could copy  bold emphasized parts of the above eleven advices and paste together, print them and put them in your everyday's pocket booklet. Thus it will be like a cheat-sheet that it would take you few seconds only as a reference.

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